Proverbs 12:1 “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid”.

I am starting a new study series on Godly Marriage with Parenting. Today I want to start at the heart, the core, and the foundational purpose of parenting that needs to have a mission, plan, and purpose. Is God the center of your of your home? Some may look at their parenting style and its influence/reflection from their marriage. Or the impact of the marriage reflects on to their parenting style. I want to be thorough and transparent. Look into loopholes. We as husband and wife have a responsibility to our children as Godly parents and SHOULD reflect our Godly marriage on them. The kids will see some marriage weaknesses, but its the strengths that matters. What Godly examples are you applying and reflecting onto your children? Is your marriage in shambles where the children can see the tension in their parenting style? My parents never fought in front of us as I was growing up. My parents made sure there was no room for fear, insecurity in our family. We had a strong family bond growing up. I myself is now a father of two, and struggled to make my parents model our model. But, my children knows and sees that we strive as parents to make our weaknesses our strengths and not letting our weaknesses control us. We will stumble, make mistakes, make bad decisions based on emotions, and etc. But I imply to my kids that by the grace of God, I know I am not perfect, and I will continue to do my best and give my best for my children. Knowing I may not being the best parent, but what it should be is how can I be a better parent.

The verse above from Proverbs 12:1 reminds me of a purpose that my dad reminded me of his job as a parent as I was growing up. He said, “We are to be raising you to release you”. That will always be stuck into my mind with many truths in that. We are to be raising our children to prepare them for the world, prepare for reality, and understanding the reason for discipline. Most importantly, we are to be raising our children knowing who God is, and why He is foundational to our purpose and roles in marriage, and parenting. Showing our kids that we are to love them and discipline in love just as God does. God Does not discipline in hate, but in love when we need correction. It is stupid to hate discipline and correction. Kids don’t know any better or understand why us parents seem “mean”, but I remind my children that we love them too much to let any bad habits, bad decisions go unnoticed, or undisciplined.

Being a Godly Parent really will challenge your strength in your marriage. Make sure your marriage is strong, ready, and healthy before having kids. If you get married and are having marriage problems, the last thing on your mind should be having children. The children will be running your marriage and family when there is no strong marriage foundation.

Do you and your spouse have a mission statement for your marriage? Do you have a mission statement for your parenting/family? I have heard of some who have mission statements for their marriage, and family, because its a healthy way to remind everyone in the home who we are, what we are, and what our purpose is in family and in marriage. It teaches the children our role as parents, their role as children, and a commitment by the husband and wife that it takes the family team to be successful. A common verse that we hear people use for their “purpose” if you will is from Joshua 24:15 “…But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Is your marriage serving the Lord? Is your home pleasing and serving God? Our home is like the church, the father is the lead pastor (head of the home Ephesians 5), and the Mom is the assistant pastor(suitable helper to the husband and home).

Husbands and wives, do you have a mission and agreement for what you want your kids to learn and understand as they grow up? Are your kids being disciplined in love and not in anger or hate? Are you letting your emotions get in the way and control how you discipline your kids?

You must agree to and create boundaries, rules, and forms of discipline before having children or you will have many disagreements on how to parent and discipline your children. It is important for both parents to stick to the agreement and abide by them. If changes are needed to be made, don’t change your rules or decisions in front of your kids but away from them. After you agree on the new rule or discipline changes, then as a team show support for each other that both parents are on the same page.

If you don’t have children, create an agreement, purpose, and plan for your parenting roles. Are you ready for kids? If not, wait until your marriage is strong and united. If you have kids, and your marriage is rough, then regroup, re-strategize, and re-establish your mission statement. This blog is to set the tone for tomorrow, and that is the effects and importance of your marriage as parents. The hardships, challenges, and the reminders we need to who we are in our place of marriage at the “parenting” stage.

Homework:

Do you have a mission statement for your marriage? For your family? If not, create one as a family, and frame in it in your home. Your kids will remember and be reminded for when they become parents of the model, message, and purpose for family. This can be a fun thing where the family can come together and can create a family bonding moment.

Have a great day and love your spouse, and family!

-David Long

dlongmarriages@gmail.com